Monday, January 22, 2007

What would it be like??
My niece, Karen, posted this on her blog. I can totally relate to how she feels. I think at one time or other, ALL moms can relate. If you say you have never felt this way, well...i will call you a liar. (I know this post wasn't JUST about being a mother, but this is what spoke to will speak differently to each person reading it..)
what is it like?
to be full of life, to have confidence, to be passionate, to feel loved, to be motivated, what does it feel like to have a life? a life other than my own? to have a good meal with fruits and vegetables that don't come from a can, to not get peed on, to not be so damn tired, to live in civilization, to be talented, to have a passion and be able to completely embrace that passion, to run, to feel beautiful, to not hurt, to not question, to dream, to follow those dreams, to put your thoughts into print in front of your eyes, rather than behind, to live in CA or NYC, to get a FULL nights rest gosh,

what is it like?
Having felt like this before, and when I was a single mom, I often asked myself "what would i do if i didn't have a child?" Would I travel? Would I have different dreams? Would I get to sleep till noon? Would I be the remote queen? Would I be rich? Would I be pretty? (ok...that is a kid's song..sorry) Would i still party like a rock star?Would i still be in the same rinky dink town i grew up in? Would i....?
I know this... if i DIDN'T have life wouldn't be as enjoyable, i wouldn't be so understanding, i wouldn't get to sit on the sidewalk and watch ants build a colony, i wouldn't get to squirt shaving cream on the table and write my name in it, (works with pudding too...on a side note..if you try this..introduce shaving cream FIRST..cause if you lick your hands with shaving cream on sucks)..
I wouldn't get to lay in the grass on a nice spring day, eating an ice cream cone, and trying to guess what the clouds looked like. I wouldn't get to buy sidewalk chalk, bubbles, hot wheel cars, tricycles, helmets, Dora or Batman bandaids, cute little animal shaped paper plates, would i even watch wonder pets, dora, diego, blues clues, cartoon network, or play cake mania? Probably not..believe it or not, my son changed my life. Suddenly it was no longer about me. I had to grow responsible, and watch my heart walk around outside my body. I am stilll on the bench about riles.. you karen, we will live through this..just be sure to pass on the curse..(i hope you have a child who acts just like you)

Also..WARM your plate in the micro for about 3 minutes..leave it there, fix your kids plates, get them situated, fix your plate, help the kids with whatever, start eating and your food will still at least, be tepid. :)

1 comment:

supermom said...

wow, i never thought that what i wrote would actually speak to anyone. i was having a rough day. i always dream of a different life and i think that is what i have always done, even as a teenager. wanted to go and do and i feel as if i let myself down. would i ever give up my children? um, NO! they are the very reason that i live and breathe. days are just so overwhelming, full of kids and kid stuff. not much time to just sit and relax. i love to sit and just watch them and LISTEN to them talk. they are so amazing. i really just miss myself, the person i was before marriage and before children. i was passionate about life, i cared about myself and taking care of myself. i loved to run. it felt so good to put my tennis shoes on and hit the pavement. the motivation has been sucked out of me. that is hard to deal with. i am just having really bad moments and the happy pills aren't helping all that much anymore. i believe it is a choice, i can choose happiness or not. right now, i just can't. it is tough. all will work out in the end though!