Mindless Ramblings of a Disproportioned Woman

my heavy heart..
lots of things going through my mind today. lots of questions, lots of negative thoughts. I try to see the good in people, I really do.
I must, must, MUST, give my hubby a HUGE thank you. He helped me move a friend today with only a 15 year old to help him move heavy furniture down 2 1/2 flights of stairs. I am so thankful for him. So very glad he was there to help. On a negative, dark gloomy side of my life...I am questioning so called friendships today. Have you ever helped (or done something for someone) and it wasn't good enough for them, or up to their "expectations?" I have. (didn't claim to be a professional at it either) It sucks. It helps me realize my effort wasn't appreciated, and helps me realize next time, I won't bother. I hate to feel that way.
I believe in this world we are here to help others, help without expecting something in return. So, what I found out by reading what another has written, and listening to them criticize, next time, I won't bother. I know this doesn't make sense, maybe it isn't supposed too, but next time..I won't bother.
Have I told you, dear readers, that I am part of a big family? I am. I am the youngest of eight. There are 5 girls and 3 boys. For the most part, we get along well, we like to go to the river (I only visit, others camp), get together for children's birthdays, holidays, and we use to get together on Friday nights, just because we could. We don't do that anymore, (or if they do, I don't know about it). We used to call each other, and say hey.."let's take the kids and go____________" we don't do that anymore either. I feel like an era has ended..maybe with warmer weather coming and camping season upon us, things will change. i miss them.
love n luck
whimp